Failure is inevitable
“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is
impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously
that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you fail by
default.”- J.K. Rowling
There is something about failure which is
so attractive, we always grow in life because of failures.
Doing Things worth doing: -
Failure is an indication that you are
doing things worth doing. Unfortunately, your standards are set so impossibly
high which is invisible to other people. But the moment you fail to reach your
set goals, you feel failure, which can explain why other people never judge you
as harshly as you do and often you feel trapped in a phenomenon called Imposter
Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome: -
Have you ever felt as if you were
surrounded by all intelligent and talented people in the room which made you
doubt and downplay your own abilities?
Or
Do you feel like a fraud when you achieve
success and in turn feel, it was just good luck and any moment you could be
exposed or you are a one hit wonder?
It happens to everyone or at least the
majority of us, everyone has self- doubts and knows something you don’t know.
But here’s the catch, you are a unique
individual and therefore, you bring to the table something which other people
do not. Your presence is indispensable.
For instance, your knowledge about the
pastry recipe you learned by watching MasterChef is unique to you (at least, in
your understanding of learning the recipe), so feel free to share it with
others.
Sharing your talents with the world will
together contribute to everyone’s knowledge of the world, making all of us fuller
individuals. Don’t hold back your talents for the fear of being judged, you are
here to do great stuff, so go live it up… You Only Live Once!
Failure depends on how you take it
(Fundamental Attribution Error): -
Broadly speaking, there are two types of
responses to failure either externalizing the outcome and detaching it from your self-worth.
For example, saying that you did poorly in
exam because the questions were difficult or that weather was bad is externalizing the outcome.
Or the other way is to dedicate your
failure to internal factors within yourself and getting attached to the
outcomes.
For example, saying you are stupid because
you performed poorly in exams.
If you change your approach to accepting
failure and externalize the outcome instead of getting attached to its results
then you will see failure for what it is and move towards a brighter future
with the knowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes but it doesn’t make you
wrong, it’s only human!
Failure teaches you humility: -
Humility in response to an experience of
failure, is at its core a form of therapy (Bradatan, 2016). Failure makes us
see the grandiosity of the world, to be in awe of our planet earth.
When failure hits you, you have to realize that you needed to become this person and it brought you a little closer to
what you thought you needed to become.
I have failed more times than I can recall
in my life, everybody has, and failure makes us wonderful individuals. It makes
us humble, it shows us that we are not in fact, invincible but we could be
broken or torn apart. But these little broken parts of our being need not stay that
way, and we can heal them.
We need to grasp the realization that we
messed up, it is not about getting emotional or personal but when we admit our
mistakes, it frees us. We can begin again as a newbie with an improved and
novel plan to conquer our goals.
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”
(Post Traumatic Growth): -
The ‘lure’ in Failure, is the fact that it
makes you wiser, stronger (relationship-wise) and helps you better prioritize situations in future. Just as success is an inept teacher, failure is its
opposite and teaches us the meaningful lessons that are needed to add beauty to
our journeys.
You
can’t have a rainbow without a little rain ;)
It teaches us to be grateful for what we
have as it could be lost forever in the blink of an eye.
“Today, you can dig up countless studies
on the high failure rate of start-ups. One demoralizing study comes from CB
Insights, which reveals that most new companies have a lifespan of only 20
months.
Whichever version of the grim truth you
believe, it’s clear that the path of entrepreneurship is no easy one. No matter
how carefully you plan, something is bound to go awry – and your only hope is to
embrace, learn, and move on from your mistakes.” (Start-up-grind, 2017)
Also, the more hurt you experience in your
heart, the happier you feel when joy finally ushers through its chambers.
Lastly, all these struggles make you value
what is truly important for you in your lives, making you a wise and worthy
individual filled with wisdom and virtue.
Fail-Forward: -
When we experience temporary setbacks, we
have a choice either to stay where we are or to fail forward instead of
backward.
If you are experiencing a setback or
regression, do not fear that you are back at ground zero. Life is giving you an
experience to grow. Remember, you’re simply going through a temporary phase
that will pass, contributing to the evolution of your consciousness. - Joyce
Marter.
We could take the leap of faith after a
massive defeat; to be courageous and follow through on 100% of plans. Be
passionate about your efforts and know it in your heart that this would yield
the best possible future that is in store for you.
I would personally love to call failure my
friend, because it is a continuous cycle of life, after failure comes success
and sometimes after success comes failure (due to overconfidence) but mostly,
no matter what we do, we don’t have any ultimate control over the outcome. We
can only promise to work to the best of our abilities and only if the timing is
right as success happens in its own merry time, our dreams do turn into
reality. <3
Till then, just be happy and follow John
Green’s anthem which says: - DFTBA (Don’t Forget To Be AwesomeJ). :)
