Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Failure: Be my Friend

Failure is inevitable
“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you fail by default.”- J.K. Rowling

There is something about failure which is so attractive, we always grow in life because of failures.
Doing Things worth doing: ­-
Failure is an indication that you are doing things worth doing. Unfortunately, your standards are set so impossibly high which is invisible to other people. But the moment you fail to reach your set goals, you feel failure, which can explain why other people never judge you as harshly as you do and often you feel trapped in a phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome: -
Have you ever felt as if you were surrounded by all intelligent and talented people in the room which made you doubt and downplay your own abilities?
Do you feel like a fraud when you achieve success and in turn feel, it was just good luck and any moment you could be exposed or you are a one hit wonder?
It happens to everyone or at least the majority of us, everyone has self- doubts and knows something you don’t know.
But here’s the catch, you are a unique individual and therefore, you bring to the table something which other people do not. Your presence is indispensable.
For instance, your knowledge about the pastry recipe you learned by watching MasterChef is unique to you (at least, in your understanding of learning the recipe), so feel free to share it with others.
Sharing your talents with the world will together contribute to everyone’s knowledge of the world, making all of us fuller individuals. Don’t hold back your talents for the fear of being judged, you are here to do great stuff, so go live it up… You Only Live Once!
Failure depends on how you take it (Fundamental Attribution Error): -
Broadly speaking, there are two types of responses to failure either externalizing the outcome and detaching it from your self-worth.
For example, saying that you did poorly in exam because the questions were difficult or that weather was bad is externalizing the outcome.
Or the other way is to dedicate your failure to internal factors within yourself and getting attached to the outcomes.
For example, saying you are stupid because you performed poorly in exams.
If you change your approach to accepting failure and externalize the outcome instead of getting attached to its results then you will see failure for what it is and move towards a brighter future with the knowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes but it doesn’t make you wrong, it’s only human!

Failure teaches you humility: -
Humility in response to an experience of failure, is at its core a form of therapy (Bradatan, 2016). Failure makes us see the grandiosity of the world, to be in awe of our planet earth.
When failure hits you, you have to realize that you needed to become this person and it brought you a little closer to what you thought you needed to become.
I have failed more times than I can recall in my life, everybody has, and failure makes us wonderful individuals. It makes us humble, it shows us that we are not in fact, invincible but we could be broken or torn apart. But these little broken parts of our being need not stay that way, and we can heal them.
We need to grasp the realization that we messed up, it is not about getting emotional or personal but when we admit our mistakes, it frees us. We can begin again as a newbie with an improved and novel plan to conquer our goals.
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” (Post Traumatic Growth): -
The ‘lure’ in Failure, is the fact that it makes you wiser, stronger (relationship-wise) and helps you better prioritize situations in future. Just as success is an inept teacher, failure is its opposite and teaches us the meaningful lessons that are needed to add beauty to our journeys.
 You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain ;)
It teaches us to be grateful for what we have as it could be lost forever in the blink of an eye.
“Today, you can dig up countless studies on the high failure rate of start-ups. One demoralizing study comes from CB Insights, which reveals that most new companies have a lifespan of only 20 months.
Whichever version of the grim truth you believe, it’s clear that the path of entrepreneurship is no easy one. No matter how carefully you plan, something is bound to go awry – and your only hope is to embrace, learn, and move on from your mistakes.” (Start-up-grind, 2017)
Also, the more hurt you experience in your heart, the happier you feel when joy finally ushers through its chambers.
Lastly, all these struggles make you value what is truly important for you in your lives, making you a wise and worthy individual filled with wisdom and virtue.
Fail-Forward: -
When we experience temporary setbacks, we have a choice either to stay where we are or to fail forward instead of backward.
If you are experiencing a setback or regression, do not fear that you are back at ground zero. Life is giving you an experience to grow. Remember, you’re simply going through a temporary phase that will pass, contributing to the evolution of your consciousness. - Joyce Marter.
We could take the leap of faith after a massive defeat; to be courageous and follow through on 100% of plans. Be passionate about your efforts and know it in your heart that this would yield the best possible future that is in store for you.

I would personally love to call failure my friend, because it is a continuous cycle of life, after failure comes success and sometimes after success comes failure (due to overconfidence) but mostly, no matter what we do, we don’t have any ultimate control over the outcome. We can only promise to work to the best of our abilities and only if the timing is right as success happens in its own merry time, our dreams do turn into reality. <3
Till then, just be happy and follow John Green’s anthem which says: - DFTBA (Don’t Forget To Be AwesomeJ). :) 

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